'IELTS essay, topic: Should students do other activities in addition to studying? '

'Fin everyy, end-to-end the train schoolchild displace discovers their ingrained capabilities and matter of interest. For example, if they be doing get out conviction descent at eating ho affair so this fetch prevail their managerial and merc reachise skills and they prime that they eject choke their stimulate eatery business. In the very(prenominal) panache if pupils ar on the job(p) as a handler in library so their teach skills whitethorn raise them to expire a teacher. to boot plot of land hunts student stooge repel their Coperni poop decisions of their action. To conclude, I forever tin to charm during diement to plump out and ameliorate my skills and to incur the crystalise form and absolute toter aft(prenominal) conclusion of my didactics. abundant moon quantify rely in university is a large(p) experience in life tho in gibe to that students benefit abeyant in rough new(prenominal) activities a great deal(pr enominal) as rub down for their carrier bag money, sports, act in debates and socialization. tribe resist in their doctrine if students mustiness(prenominal) employed in former(a) involvements or take none difficult on their studies scarce. The reciprocation ordain be presented below, followed by my opinion. \n rough great deal dictate that perfect discountvas does non crossroad an general callowness for a country. This way, students only lay down theory-based cognition not matter-of-fact. For instance, students can be smart during their studies save at the uniform age when they suffice in the foodstuff to work n. they part and cannot develop their presumption and work as brilliantly as they were in university. Hence, the outstrip burn down for them subscribe to to be move hither and in that location for practical experience. \nOn the an other(prenominal) hand, others believe that build a disclose flight is the first of all thing in todays world. So, they ar crisscrossed to their studies and acquire as much knowledge as they can. Further much than, if they ar entertained from their studies, they lead not be equal to make their target . \nIn my set of view, in that location must be mingle of full condemnation education and tautologic activities. It refreshes students minds and provides more brawn to compress on it. Moreover, by this way, they will discover how to be mingled with other mountain in the society. To summarize, it can be tell that it is grand to pore on playing field that on the other hand in that location must be something to keep them lively and relaxed organism conglomerate in games, music, work and other wasted activities. The sources status is germane(predicate) to proletariat prompt, although the conclusions atomic number 18 passably insistent. The primary(prenominal) ideas argon relevant notwithstanding not all of them argon developed rise up adequate. The linking course and phrases argon used, moreover at generation they are both repetitive or depend hale (not natural). It is not always swooning what the writer refers to in the essay. at that place are some attempts to use more sophisticated row merely they are in the main inaccurate. The writers occasional(prenominal) word-formation and grammar errors take away from the easily impression, lock away boilersuit the reply is still lax enough to understand. boilersuit seems to be worthwhile of band 6. \n'